


On the Flip Side, We Could Be Just Right

by ViaLethe



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViaLethe/pseuds/ViaLethe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thinks Bruce has a crush, and he's not about to shut up about it.  Natasha is less than amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Flip Side, We Could Be Just Right

**Author's Note:**

> For nessaniel - I tried to make it dialogue-only, but bits of narration kept creeping in. I hope it satisfies anyhow!

“I think he's got a crush on you.”

“You do know there are several dozen ways I could think of to ensure you never say another word, right, Stark?”

“But what would you do with yourself if you didn't have my melodious voice in your ear every day?”

“Have fewer headaches?” Natasha suggests.

“You know you love me, Agent Romanov. Though possibly not as much as a certain big green fighting machine loves you.”

“I could put snakes in your bed,” she threatens.

“Jarvis has anti-reptillian protocols built in. Back to the topic at hand, did you like the way he laid that dead guy at your feet? I thought it was charming, myself. Reminded me of a cat with a dead mouse.”

“I could tell Pepper about all the robot porn on your private tablets.”

“Ooh, low blow. And since when do you have access to my private tablets?”

“Since you invited all of us to live here,” she says mildly.

“Yeah, that might not have been one of my better ideas,” he says. “Though it does have the advantage of giving me unparalleled access into the developing romance between you and the good doctor.”

“Robot porn, Stark!” she reminds him, walking away and keeping her back carefully straight, because giving Stark any kind of satisfaction is like giving sugar to a five year old.

“Hulk and Natasha, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...”

Natasha does not blush; still, she feels uncommonly flushed, warm as the blood haze in the midst of battle.

***

“So...do you want to talk about it?” Bruce asks, at some indefinably later point when her bruises have had enough time to start blossoming up into colors.

“About what?” 

“You're not going to make this easy, are you?”

“Making things easy for you isn't in my job description. And the Hulk making things easy for me isn't in his.”

“To be fair, he doesn't exactly _have_ a job description, as such. Smashing the bad guys instead of his teammates is about all you can ask for.”

“Which is what he did today, so I think we can leave it there, Dr Banner.”

“Lover's quarrel?” Stark asks, strutting in like he owns the place, which, strictly speaking, he does. “Don't let me interrupt. Go back to arguing about whatever's got her calling you 'Doctor Banner' in that deadly yet sexy super-assassin voice of hers.”

“Tony, you are not really helping here.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe, considering I seem to be the only one in this room invested in the progress of this relationship. Which would make me the _only_ one helping, technically.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “The only relationship here is the one in your twisted little mind, Stark.”

“Oh, that's how you're going to try to play it? Okay, yeah, sure. I mean, the Big Guy's never shielded _me_ from laser blasts that could cut right through my armor, not to mention your skin, and then pounded the bad guy in question into the ground before setting the corpse down in front of me like an offering, and we're pretty good buddies. But yeah, there's definitely nothing there worth considering. Am I the only one on this team with eyes?”

“You're the only one with a mouth too big for his own good,” Natasha says, getting up in his personal space, which would probably be more effective on anybody but Stark. “Don't you have some robots to go fiddle with?”

“Not really feeling the need at the moment. But I'll give you two kids some space to work it out, as long as you promise not to get too heated. If the Big Guy makes a mess, you're cleaning it up.”

Blissful silence reigns for a minute, before Bruce sighs. “Look, Natasha, I'm sorry if he offended you.”

“Stark or the Other Guy?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” she says, tipping her head to one side, studying him. “He acts on your urges, right? All the things you try to keep so tightly controlled.” 

He doesn't answer that one, only watches her in return. “We can just...pretend it didn't happen, if you want. I get it, no big deal.”

“It didn't offend me,” she says, as he turns to go. “It was kind of sweet, actually. I was just surprised. And I don't like being caught off guard. It irritates me.”

“What, do you want a warning the next time he feels like giving you a present?”

“No,” she says. “I was surprised that I found it sweet. I should have felt scared, or angry, but I didn't.”

“Oh,” he says, and pauses. “So what did you feel?”

“To be honest? I felt like doing this.”

“...Nat? You know Tony's probably watching us, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so...if you're going to keep kissing me – maybe we might want to take this somewhere...more private?”

“In a minute,” she says. “Might as well give him something to gloat about.”


End file.
